Mr. Fun

Writer and readers

Some things are just hard to value. Take writers, for instance. As a group, they aren’t the most respected or highest-paid professionals, and even in Hollywood, where scribes can make a living wage, writers tend to get swapped around like Legos.

But take them out of the entertainment industry, even for a few weeks, and the 12,000 members of the Writers Guild of America can cost the economy billions of dollars. The WGA went on strike this week in an effort to force the studios to get real about DVD and Web royalties (their motto: “When you get paid, we get paid”), and late-night chat shows immediately went into reruns. No writers means no topical jokes. Next on the list: Soap operas, which will soon run out of scripts.

When the WGA last went on strike in 1988, shock waves battered the industry for months. Some estimates put the cost at roughly $500 million, but others figure the industry’s losses may have exceeded $1 billion in Los Angeles alone. This one could prove even trickier: How do you put a value on a potentially lucrative distribution method that hasn’t really started paying off yet? Stay tuned...

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: Add, America, chat,contract, David, death, dollars, DVD, entertainment, error, failed, fees, gave, get, Guild, Hollywood, huge, hurts, Jay, joke, L.A., late, Leno, Letterman, lost, love, mashup, members, money, mood, more, New, night, operas, out, paid, picket, react, reruns, resolve, road, run, screen, set, shows, signs, skit, SNL, soap, strike, studios, test, thousand, TV, twelve, up, vote, Web, win, work, Writers, York.

Download strike.pdf

Football findit

Sunday’s matchup between the New England Patriots and the Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts isn’t just a game between two 8-0 teams. It’s a showdown between the NFL’s two best teams and quarterbacks in a year when No. 3 might as well be No. 32.

The Colts are a savvy, veteran bunch led by quarterback Peyton Manning and safety Bob Sanders, and they host the New England Patriots, the team they beat in the AFC Championship last January. But the 2007 Patriots are a vastly improved team.

How good are they? They’ve scored at least 34 points in every game this season and the closest anyone has come to beating them is 17 points. Quarterback Tom Brady, buoyed by an upgraded receiving corps, has thrown for 30 touchdowns in eight games. To put that in context, in 2006 only one quarterback threw for 30 or more TDs... in 16 games.

The coaches matter, too. The Colts are led by the gentlemanly Tony Dungy, while the Patriots play with the cold focus of the engimatic Bill Belichick, whose attempt at videotaping the sideline signals of the New York Jets cost him $500,000 in fines and a likely first-round draft pick.

It looks like the kind of game historians will talk about for years to come. Reserve your seat and stock up now.

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: New, England, Patriots, Indianapolis, Colts, undefeated, best, QB, Tom, Brady, Peyton, Manning, Bob, Sanders, Super, Bowl, Champions, AFC, NFL, game, eight, wins, record, setting, pace, top, hype, WR, cap, Tony, Dungy, Bill, Belichick, video, tape, fine, lies, stealing, signals, draft, sick, year, seventy, two, Miami, most, TD, passes, team, NFC, Dallas, ride, best, ever, play, TV, year, bout, rated.

Download game.pdf

Waxing poetic, waning season

Baseball has a seasonal rhythm to it and no shortage of would-be poet laureates of the diamond to sing to us about those nostalgic waxings and wanings. So we shall leave that for them and say merely this: Baseball in October is entirely different than baseball in April.

The regular season just ended was a beautiful-ugly-memorable-forgettable one, featuring the Barry Bonds home-run record, a debate over branding the record-setting ball with an asterisk, more steroids trouble, and somewhere in all this, some very interesting baseball.

I mean, the Cubs may not be a great team, but their post-All-Star-break reincarnation as a decent team was a great story. It was another good year in the AL East, and 2007 was a great year to be a Philadelphia Phillies fan. Not so great to be a New York Met, of course, but as we said before, baseball has a rhythm to it. Call the Mets’ historic 2007 swoon a cosmic balancing of their miracle 1969 season.

And bring on the post-season.

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: October, win, play-in, game, final, extra, innings, late, rally, Colorado, Rockies, San, Diego, Padres, heroics, Mets, collapse, Boston, Red, Arizona, Diamondbacks, Philadelphia, Phillies, Chicago, Cubs, Los, Angeles, Angels, New, Yankees, Cleveland, Indians, out, side, ALCS, NLCS, ego, KO, pitching, sad, joy, fans, stand, MLB, league, fall, odd, never, say, die.

Here's your download-and-print version.

Britney bottoms out

First we watched teen pop-princess Britney Spears morph into a mega-celebrity; then we watched, in morbid fascination, as her life shook apart like a trailer in a tornado. But in the strange progression that is modern American fame, is the backlash against Spears’ painfully bad performance at the Video Music Awards about to make her suddenly sympathetic? And do we care?

Whatever you think about Spears, she’s been hard to avoid in 2007. Stories about her divorce, rehab, parenting, various comeback attempts and multiple examples of bizarre behavior have dominated celebrity pages for months. Few performers have received more attention; fewer still have seemed so unworthy it. Yet one suspects that Spears star might be at its nadir. The catty attacks on Spears after the VMAs seemed excessive and personal, and rapper Kanye West turned the tables on MTV, saying it had exploited the vulnerable young woman for ratings.

But is a second act in this American life pending? Maybe not. Spears’ management company sacked her earlier this week.

Download britney.pdf

This week’s words: Britney, Spears, Firm, Kevin, Federline, Kanye, West, exploited, comeback, Gimme, More, use, fame, drug, fat, two, sons, black, bikini, star, keep, privacy, pop, lip, synch, divorce, head, shaved, sing, VMAs, MTV, party, law, fall, blame, rehab, New, Mickey, Mouse, Club, act, nude, kiss, videos, child, dance, teen, shambles, sex, symbol, idol, bad, sad, help, media, sack, print, hip, hop, hot, zero, rate, meek. 

War in space... cyberspace

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD AND PRINT THIS WEEK'S PUZZLE.

Though not widely publicized in the mainstream press, 2007 has been a big year for cyberwarfare — and not just nuisance hackers, mind you, but orchestrated mass attacks and sophisticated espionage operations that rise to the level of national security threats.

As reported in the September issue of Wired, Russian hackers angered by an Estonian treatment of a World War II memorial to Soviet war dead launched a two-week cyberblitz against the small Baltic republic. The offensive came in a variety of forms, including simple ping attacks, an enormous botnet assault by zombie computers around the planet, and stealthy hacker sabotage of Estonian websites. In an effort to prevent their networks from crashing, many Estonian administrators simply blocked all international traffic, essentially cutting off most of the country from the rest of the world for hours on end.

Though the Russian government denied any involvement, some experts suspect the attacks came with tacit approval — if not a direct fiat — from Russian President Vladimir Putin. Russian hackers were able to rent zombie computers that are typically reserved for organized crime, and government officials have expressed zero interest in investigating the concerted attack against their nation’s tiny neighbor. Estonia, by the way, is a member of NATO.

On Sunday, The Financial Times reported that hackers from China’s People’s Liberation Army penetrated the Pentagon’s computer network in June. While some degree of international intelligence agency network-probing is considered to be normal, the Chinese penetration in June may have demonstrated an ability to disrupt Department of Defense operations.

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: Russian, hackers, Estonia, April, Soviet, war, dead, WWII, May, DDoS, distributed, denial, service, attack, NATO, Europe, trial, run, new, kind, warfare, cut, off, Web, LAN, botnet, zombies, wide, computer, network, bank, ATMs, KGB, FSB, national, security, ronin, rogue, kill, server, cyberwar, fiat, pay, cost, door, ran, rid, won, angst, Far, East, China, Chinese, Pentagon, June, old, tank, DoD, data, DNS, CIA, NSA, case, AOL.

Vick's fall from grace

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has been a star athlete as long as anyone can remember, rising to national prominence as a true freshman at Virginia Tech, entering the NFL as the No. 1 pick in the draft, becoming the first quarterback to rush for 1,000 yards in a season last year. It seemed whenever encircling doom had him dead-to-rights, the elusive Vick would slip its clutches and run to daylight.

That run came to an end this week, and the man seemed rather perplexed by the development.

All sorts of things have been said and written about Vick, who threw away millions of dollars and a brilliant career by bankrolling an illegal dogfighting and gambling operation in Virginia. But that wasn’t the first time evidence linked Vick to questionable behavior: Civil lawsuits, water bottles with secret compartments and questionable photographs are all part of his resume.

Those memories, along with testimony about his cruel treatment of dogs, will go a long way toward determining his public image. His connections to gambling, however, may determine the future of his football career. Vick could be out of prison in two years, but his participation in a gambling enterprise could cost him an additional NFL penalty. How will the league that gave “Golden Boy” Paul Hornung a lifetime ban in 1963 — he was reinstated a year later — for associating with "undesirable persons" respond to the facts in the Vick case? Stay tuned...

Download vick2.pdf

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: Michael, Vick, NFL, Atlanta, Falcons, Arthur, Blank, gambling, dogs, dogfighting, crime, federal, plea, prison, sentence, Paul, Hornung, suspended, slip, cruel, Roger, Goodell, Richmond, fans, split, Bad, Newz, Kennels, attorney, guilt, lied, jersey, sales, fall, Ron, Mexico, water, bottle, Reebok, Nike, oath, year, run, hope, kill, win, QBs, pup, pit, bulls, pity, vain.

Rove "retires"

Is there a more polarizing political figure than Karl Rove? Well, maybe his boss, these days, but you get the point. People admire him. People detest him. And there’s not much in the middle.

Whatever your thoughts, consider this: How many people make such a strong impression that their names become adjectives? So when the president’s political advisor announced this week that he was leaving the White House, that was big news. As one liberal pundit put it: How will Bush function without his brain?

That’s one of Rove’s nicknames, of course: “Bush’s Brain.” And President Bush has reportedly bestowed at least three nicknames of his own upon the man: “Boy Genius,” “The Architect” and a third one that can’t be printed in the newspaper.

Rove is generally credited as the strategic mastermind behind Bush’s political successes, but he is also a formidably clever tactician who seems to relish the murky side of politics. Some of his critics believe his maneuvers have harmed American political discourse; others just think he’s evil. These are generally the people who’ve been celebrating his upcoming departure, and they might want to bear this mind: Political operatives don’t retire — they just go find another candidate. 

Here's your download-and-print version.

THIS WEEK'S WORDS: Karl, Rove, George, Bush, president, boy, genius, Republican, National, Committee, mastermind, term, architect, West, Wing, policy, skill, nickname, brain, Texas, governor, race, critics, Democrats, wedge, issues, base, mobilize, White, House, strategy, red, state, ego, power, quit, help, star, evil, GOP, game, gay, RNC, murk, Fox, fix, harm, CNN, tied, run, Roe, political, Washington.

   

Headed down a series of tubes

Tuesday was not a good day for Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska. The longest-serving senator in GOP history had to suffer through the indignity of live news coverage of Federal Bureau of Investigation agents, accompanied by investigators from the Internal Revenue Service, as they crawled all over his vacation home at a ski resort south of Anchorage. No fun, that.

The search was part of an investigation into the relationship between Stevens and oil services contractor Bill Allen, who has already been convicted of bribing Alaska state officials. Reporters watched as agents carried out garbage bags of evidence from the home, which was renovated in 2000 in an odd way: Contractors sent bills to Allen, but the checks were paid by Stevens. The senator says he paid for all the improvements himself, and that he took part in no wrongdoing.

In a sense, things have been going downhill for Stevens for about a year now. On June 28, 2006, Stevens gave an 11-minute speech to a Senate committee in which he famously referred to the Internet as “a series of tubes,” and went on to speak of how his staff had just sent him “an Internet” that took days to arrive “because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially.” All of which made Sen. Stevens a prime candidate for lampooning by Jon Stewart on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show and, for the first time in his long career, a nationally known figure.

Here's your download-and-print version.

This week’s words: Senator, Ted, Stevens, Alaska, Republican, house, FBI, IRS, search, evidence, wine, photo, Bill, Allen, oil, contractor, convicted, bribery, state, home, renovation, field, services, federal, agents, VECO, Corp., ski, resort, warned, senior, Internet, series, tubes, USA, Jon, Stewart, Daily, Show, look, tax, gift, roof, bags, carry, live, CNN, news, door, dig.

Debating the debate?

Monday’s CNN/YouTube presidential debate at The Citadel rounded up the usual Democratic suspects. The critical decoding of the event in the days following it has rounded up the usual media/new-media suspects. But one suspects that, no matter what one thinks of such things, America crossed into new country with the airing of that first videotaped citizen question.

Not that the viewer numbers were all that exciting (they weren’t). Or that the user-submitted questions were ground-breaking in their content and Everyman sensibilities. Or that cable network news suddenly grasped the emerging contours and textures of Generation YouTube.

Broadcast media didn’t change Monday. Neither did politicians, nor the Interwebs. But our expectations of all three shifted, however slightly. From such incremental steps do big changes rise.

Download-and-print version.

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: Citadel, campaign, TV, candidates, cyber, Republican, Democratic, big, pays, party, medium, new media, media, Internet, video, journalism, GOP, president, pols, citizens, citizenship, Charleston, news, CNN, stars, free, rules, USA, old, die, net, YouTube, debates, cable, network, election, politics, nits, Web, roles, blogs, online, primary, fear, poll, pro, pun.

The Pakistan problem

While America’s attention tends to gravitate toward Afghanistan, Iraq (and recently, Iran) when it comes to matters of war and terrorism, it’s easy to forget that most experts on such matters think that Northwest Pakistan has been a haven for Al Qaeda since the fall of the Taliban.

Which makes Pakistan a rather important – though typically neglected – piece in the global security puzzle. Pakistan has the sixth largest population on the planet, governed by a generally pro-Western military dictatorship led by President Pervez Musharraf.

Yet Musharraf’s position is a precarious one. By siding with the United States against Islamic extremists after the 9/11 attacks, the dictator put himself at odds with many of his own people.

Today, Musharraf is under extreme political pressure and his army is in direct conflict with the extremists in the areas near the Afghan border. What happens there could have tremendous influence on the rest of the world.

Here's your download-and-print Wordfind puzzle.

THIS WEEK’S WORDS: Pakistan, troops, killed ambush, seventeen, twelve, militants, clash, Miranshah, North, Waziristan, President, Pervez, Musharraf, Red, Mosque, Islamabad, Taliban, emergency, jihad, holy, war, tribal, Afghanistan, root, out, terrorists, army, ally, bombs, risk, attack, Osama, Bin Laden, hide, fear, USA, CIA, die, rid.