Meet the Exec-U-Tron

To enter this week's contest, e-mail your entries to Alan Seim (with the words "CAPTION CONTEST" in the subject line) by 5 p.m. on Friday. Alan will pick five finalists on Monday and tally the votes on Wednesday at 10 a.m.

For those of you who haven't yet figured out that that hyperlink contains the e-mail address (and yes, there are people who are still figuring that out... be nice), here's that address: [email protected].

Comments

[Alan Seim]

Greetings and salutations, captioneers! Well, we're off and running on another captioning quest. Lots of goodies so far, like:

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"Dad - I think this guy will fit right in and he's definitely willing to stick his neck out for the company."
-- Kim Payne, Mt. Pleasant

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1) "The only drawback is that he could make the rest of us look bad on the golf course."
2) "His only complaint is the uniform. He'd like more individuality here."
3) "He feels we are a cold environment, and he wants sensitivity training for the office."
4) "He wants to know if the outfit makes his butt look big."
-- Sunny Cook, Summerville

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"With him holding down the fort, we can get in 18 whenever we want, and we have the option of using his long drives during the next best ball tournament!"
-- Bill Wojtkowski, West Ashley

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"Seeking the ultimate 'yes man?' Think bobblehead on steriods."
-- Sally Pascutti, Mount Pleasant

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"And, he doesn't take vacations, either."
-- Jack House

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1) "I'd like him to replace me at the Board Meetings."
2) "And I thought you may like his tie and hairstyle."
3) "His only shortfall is his typing skills."
4) "On the downside, he's fueled by Positive Reenforcement."
-- Gary Ludwigson

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"... and he doesn't take lunch or restroom breaks!"
-- Terrill Leff, Charleston

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"Let me introduce you to your replacement, Mr. Hobbs."
-- Robert Jackson, North Charleston

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1) "He uses all of the corporate buzzwords and like you does nothing substantial."
2) "Like you, he uses all of the corporate jargon and does nothing substantial."
3) "We modeled him after you and he's proven to be quite useless so far."
4) "We haven't figured out how to make him work, like you."
-- Mark Gray, Wilmington, NC

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The bad news, Hobbs, is you're being replaced. The good news is feel free to take your desk chair with you when you leave."
-- Jim Folk, Mt. Pleasant

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1) "Hobbs, meet your replacement and take your smelly plant with you on the way out."
2) "This is the replacement for the Hobbs 500 model."
3) "Because he can run rings around you! That’s why."
4) "Because this fella doesn’t need coffee breaks and won't want to join a union."
5) "Good news, Hobbs, your retirement starts right now."
-- Bob Tilidetzke, Summerville

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1) "Bill Gates left us his replacement."
2) "We've gone from clones to clowns."
3) "Hey, at least he's solar powered!"
-- S. Murray, West Ashley

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1) "Hobbs, our new employee, U-Tron needs a health insurance package."
2) "Dad, I hired him because he just looks like a team player."
3) "Hold on tight Hobbs, we are the last two live ones!"
-- Lele Stuntebeck, Mt. Pleasant

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"If we hire him Mr. Hobbs, we will meet our quota."
-- J.H. Peele

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"He's programmed to do pretty much everything we do except play golf."
-- Larry Duncan, Walterboro

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"Boss, I'm proud to say that my new MBA ExecUtron robot can outperform any of our executives."
-- James Sculley, Mt. Pleasant

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"Sorry, Hobbs - but the Commander-in-Chief wants someone from the Department of Halliburton."
-- Allen West, Charleston

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"So this is the robot that's going to replace me? We'll see what happens when the roof leaks."
-- Larenda Baxley, North Charleston

* * *

1) "The pants were only optional for the robot."
2) "Executron 1000, meet The Man."
3) "His specialty is maintaining the glass ceiling."
4) "Hobbs, if you can eliminate your bathroom and lunch breaks - you can keep your job."
5) "If he only had a heart."
6) "You both have no backbone."
7) "I think this qualifies as diversity."
8) "Meet Maxi-me."
9) "We had to eliminate the water cooler."
-- Joseph McGill, Jr., Charleston