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July 10, 2008



Here's the early stuff.

"I thought she was hit by a car"
Dawn Stubitsch
Thumbprint Kids Custom Cake Toppers and Figurines


" Actually, 69 years is a ripe old age for someone with all those maladies."

thank you for reading this. sunny cook summerville


Poor Aunt Mary, she'd be so disappointed to know that it was a traffic accident that killed her.

Submitted by Constance Ducker, Goose Creek


"69 years is a long time to wait for something to really be wrong."

Kim Payne
Mt. Pleasant, SC


Mary always loved to prove me wrong.

I do but CVS had some doubts about it.

--Gary Ludwigson


I'll take whatever else comes in this afternoon, then round up the big weekend push on Monday.

Only one more I can credit at the moment. Have a great weekend, y'all!

I hope she feels better now that she has passed away.

Mary's friends are sending her poor husband on a cruise.

I hope Mary took her medicine with her.

Where ever she has gone they will send her back before long.

-- Lele Stuntebeck, Mt. Pleasant



Here's what we've got in the Monday morning mailbag...

Caption Contest (July 11) for Mary Raney:

"Let the lawsuits begin."

Janna Peele
Mount Pleasant


"Whine, whine, whine."

Shirley Nadzak, James Island





Hey Dan,

Here they are.

1. Actually, she was run over by a milk truck.

2 Actually, she was run over by a Mini Cooper.

3. I really don't think it's possible to die from restless-leg syndrome.

4. I really don't think it's possible to die from an athlete's foot infection.

5. Let's pray we don't catch whatever it was she had!

6. Man, I thought she'd never eat those poison mushrooms, Darling.

7. You're not going to take out a huge life insurance policy on me, I hope!

Bob Tilidetzke



"It's bitter pill to swallow."

" I still think she was a hypochndriac. With her poor eyesight, she just didn't see the train coming."

"The HMO's dreaded her, the pharmaceuticals worshipped her."

"I told you she wasn't "Little Mary Sunshine", didn't I?"

S. Murray


"I guess we should have believed her when she said her feet were killing her."

Linda Machtel


She also used to say, “Some paranoid people really are persecuted.”

Boy, take a load of that tough little angel! I didn’t know they wore glasses.

I tell you, that’s a tough way to get vindicated.

She also considered, ‘People, I’m getting very bored’.

(Book'em Dano)
Jan Beaujon
West Ashley


"The answer is yes, Mary, simply because you took such delight in discussing your plantar warts,
hay fever, and fallen arches."

"The answer is no, Mary, simply because you took such delight in discussing your plantar warts, hayfever, and fallen arches. "

by Sunny Cook Summerville


Mary, as your psychiatrist, I must say that you've gone too far.

Mark Musselman



Anna Boulden


Eh, you'll be fine, you just got a little dirt on ya.

Rob Seigel, Mt P


"She also designed the angel to make me feel guilty."

"Even the angel has her attitude."

"Ever seen an angel with an attitude? That was her idea too."

"Press the button on the back of the angel to hear her list of ailments."

"A tombstone and an angel with an attitude-why me?"

Mark Gray
Wilmington, NC


1) "Bless her heart, this has to be the happiest day of her life!"

2) "So this is what it took to make her happy!"

3) "I'm still not sure I believed her!"

4) "Her doctors are going to miss her terribly!"

5) "She did make a lot of close friends in the medical community."

6) "This news item should make the American Medical Journal!"

7) "At age 69, her epithat is not hard proof!"

8) "She always got the last word!"

9) "She would do anything to prove a point!"

10) " 'Never' is not the operative word here--she was hit by a car!"

11) "Mary, I'm sorry I dared you to go a whole day without taking your meds!"

Annette Bonin
West Ashley


“She was run over by a truck shortly after ordering the stone.”

Larry Duncan, Walterboro


"She was certainly persistent - she carried that thought to her grave."

"Now we'll never know."

Perry Hudel, Summerville


I'll keep taking these up to the 5 p.m. deadline. Funny this in this batch!

The last ones in...

"You should have known better than to hire a gargoyle sculptor to make a tombstone Angel!"

"Mary was sick as she said,
Now we believe her, because she's dead!"

June Griggs


My Entries:

Mary, don't you think this tombstone was a bit premature?

Come home, Mary. You can't just hang around here hoping to die.

I told you we should never have etched a date on the tombstone, Mary.

Who would have thought a hangnail could be fatal?

Marc Batten, West Ashley


Now to pick five... hmmm...

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