Nose dive

To enter this week's contest, e-mail guest contest editor Alan Seim your caption with the subject line "CAPTION CONTEST" before Monday at 5 p.m. Alan will pick five finalists and post them for your online voting pleasure Monday evening, then tally the votes for print at 10 a.m. on Wednesday.

Comments

[Alan Seim]

Hi ya' folks - Alan here. First I want to say thanks to Mike Fussell, Christine Randall and Ann Mitchell who ended up helping me out this week. They actually were the "guest-guest" (double guest?) contest editors and technical assistants. I skipped out of town for a couple of days this week for a last-minute offshore adventure with my scientist/professor brother and they ended up pinch hitting for the pinch hitter. Thanks a lot guys!

Now on to this week's caption contest. Lots of early entries already, so the rest of you better get to work.

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"See? The GPS on my new blackberry took us straight to the right address!"
- Pastor Woody

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"I hope this guy's name is 'Hancock.' "
- Ken Cartrette, North Charleston.

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1) "I guess being rich doesn't make you smart."
2) "He must think we're MD's with magical skills."
3) "Somebody's a little too enthused about the Olympics."
4) "The only thing good about this situation is his form."
- Sunny Cook, Summerville

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"I'd give him a 8."
- Oovie

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1) "Aw man -- Now we're going to have to clean this pool twice!"
2) "Quick -- Take off the drain cover!"
3) "Bad timing!"
- Kim Payne, Mt. Pleasant

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1) "Looks like we'll be cleaning the pool again. Heads or tails?"
2) "Bush also told him the economy was fine."
3) "He know we're not real doctors, right?"
- Tom Dittrich, Daniel Island

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"Oh! That's Marc Batten – he lost the 'caption contest' last week!"
- Larry Ammann

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1) "This guy is lucky we're docs."
2) "Are you prepared to work overtime?"
3) "This guy is determined to get to China."
4) "I give him a score of 86."
5) "They were wrong all this time -- suicide is not painless."
6) "I think he'll stick the landing."
7) "The butterfly stroke would come in handy right about now."
8) "I think he mistook swan dive for swan song."
9) "He bought himself some time by diving into the deep end."
- Joseph McGill, Jr., Charleston

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"Well, he's not gonna make a big splash!"
- Ted Bryant

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"We're going to need bigger mops!"
- M. Ralston

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"Man, if that's a swan dive, he better have wings!"
- Charlie Saleeby, Mt. Pleasant

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1) "Hey Leroy, don't put your mop up just yet."
2) "Hey Leroy, I hope this guy's wearing a jock strap under his Speedo. If he hits the drain perfectly, we won't have to mop up again."
3) "Did this guy think we were 'real' doctors when he called POOL DOCS ??"
- Pete Marchewka, Mt. Pleasant

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"Uuh, don't put your mop up yet."
- Pauline Vidia

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"I know Olympians were concerned about the pollution over there, but I didn't think it was that bad!"
"The optimist who misjudged how 'full' the pool really was ..."
"And here I thought we were going to get off early today ..."
"Global warming's effect in America's suburbs."
- Julian Allen, Charleston

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[Alan Seim]

WOW! When I encouraged "the rest of you" to get to work when I posted early entries on Friday afternoon, you took me at my word. Since then, more than 25 of you stepped up and took your cuts.

I wish I could get my kids to respond like all of you did!

Thanks for all the entries - they're great. Take some time and read through them, you'll be glad you did.

- Alan

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"Dude, you may want to kick that mop bucket over here"
- Stuart Osborne, Mt. Pleasant

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1) "Always look before you leap!"
2) "Here comes trouble!"
- Sandy Katz, Charleston

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1) "Why can't they just wait for the Sumemr Olympics!"
2) "No. I thought you put the CLOSED sign up!"
3) "It seems we just clean one mess up and here comes another!"
- Scott Van Buren

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"Gee, that cloud looks just like the state of Kentucky."
- George Larson

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1) "Darn looks like we gonna have to clean the pool again."
2) "That saying 'look before you leap' is clearly proving that this poor guy is not the brightest crayon in the box."
3) "Not being able to swim is the least of this guy's problems."
4) "I don't think he is going to China any time soon."
5) "Be certain you put in for your over time this week."
- Lele Stuntebeck, Mt. Pleasant

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"Looks like we're gonna need some bigger mops!"
- Don Backer

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"Heads up Fred, looks like we're not done cleaning up yet."
- Tim Carroll, Summerville

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1) "I'm glad these new mops are super absorbent"
2) "Well at least we'll have job security"
3) "Pool Docs not Fool Docs"
4" "I heard he was practicing for the TV show 'Wipeout.' "
- Jenny Garcia, Moncks Corner

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"Another Republican!"
- Dan Whitcher

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"So much for being done before the heat of the day"
- Lora Morris

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1) "Go get the heavy-duty water vac and a large plastic bag!"
2) "We're gonna need bigger mops!"
3) "Beautiful form on the swan dive -- to bad he's a 'dead duck!' "
4) "Perfect form; bad, bad, timing!"
5) "Well, there goes a potential contender at the Olympics!"
6) "First and last dive of the season for him!"
7) "Oops, we forgot to put up the 'Cleaning Pool' sign again!"
8) "Back up, he's a big one!"
9) "I always said he was a 'big fish in a small pond!' "
10) "Well, I'd say his day is going to be a 'flop!' "
11) "Forget 911, he's a goner!"
12) "This is gonna hurt a lot more than a belly flop!"
- Annette Bonin, West Ashley

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1) "What is it about 'Look before you leap' he doesn't understand?"
2) "You'd think they'd catch on - your turn or mine?"
3) "If it was a backward dive instead of a jackknife, I might understand."
- David Hirsch, Summerville

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"Oh, he's just practicing a dry run for Beijing!"
- Suzie Pettus, Summerville

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"Quick ... wring out that mop!"
- Ted Bryant

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"When should we tell him that we aren't doctors?"
- Will Doscher, James Island

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1) "Oops."
2) "Hurry and get the bucket of water."
3) "I hope he can sprout wings."
4) "Tell him that the Olympics is in China."
5) "Looks like we have company."
6) "There is always one who doesn't get the word."
7) "It's a bird, it's a plane, no - it's Superdiver."
8) "Go call FEMA."
9) "Now look at the mess you got me in."
10) "Quick get the First Aid kit."
- Herb Goldberg, Charleston

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"Dude ... I'm not cleaning that up!"
- Cooper Canaday

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1) "It's a paradox that this pair of docs, can't save him."
2) "Well doc, looks like we pulled the plug on him!"
- Ed Hillman, Summerville

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"Some people still haven't heard the housing pool has dried up."
- John Hoad, James Island

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"What we have here is a failure to communicate."
- Lyn Frazier, Goose Creek

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"I wonder how many points they will deduct for his landing?"
- Danny Coggins, Ladson

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1) "No great loss to the gene pool!"
2) "Heads or tails, he loses!"
3) "They voted him out of the gene pool."
4) "The Blind Olympics are off to a bad start."
- Susan Murray, West Ashley

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"Our boss must have said 'Clean the pool table' not the 'POOL.' "
- Robert O'Connor

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1) "So Doc ... did you happen to stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?"
2) "Crack-Head."
3) "I've head of 'singing' a swan song, but this guy must be a performance artist."
4) "Dang it Rodney ... we were almost done."
5) "Hey Rodney, grap me a Pepsi ... this guy needs a soft drink to land on."
- Michael Shiver

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"You should watch him when there is water in the pool."
- Dieter Beckmann, Charleston

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"I'll catch this one. If he knocks out my teeth I'm covered."
- Pat McCarthy, Charleston

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1) "You should always look before you leap!"
2) "That hurts already!"
- June Griggs, North Charleston

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"Let's see. Using the formula: force = mass times acceleration, I'd estimate he'll hit at about 4 tons."
- Rhame Nelson