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March 16, 2007



"I told Harry that allegator golf shoes was a bad idea."


The entries so far...

"I tried to tell Bubba the Florida mascot wears a sweater!" (Martin Duane)


"Don't be a fool like Charlie!! Take the 'gimme'." (D.J. Shymansky)


"No pressure....But look what happened to Jack after he bogeyed!" (Laura McGowen)


"Okay, so does this mean I won't get to see Spurrier throw his visor?" (Jay Millard)


"I heard of a bump and run shot, but I am fatter than you and run slower!" (Gene Welka)


"I guess Joe will be taking a Mulligan."


"Let's let him play through." (Catherine Farah)


"Poor Joe, I told him not to wear that Florida State T-shirt." (Joan Walter)


"What a Croc."
"That's too bad, he would of shot Eagle."
"That's ironic. He just bought a pair of Alligator skin shoes."
"What? You've never seen an Alligator eat someone before?"
"This is what I call Extreme Golf!" (Josh Aydlette)




"I GUESS IT'S OK TO PLAY THRU?" (Mike Jarrett)


"Uh-oh, we forgot the gator-aid." (Judie Kalbach)


"Give Jim an ate on this hole." (Rolfe Rudes)


"Hey, do you guys need a little GATOR AID?" (Jesse Hayden)


"Maybe I should have given Roger that putt, but it's definitely outside the leather." (Bob Zimpfer)


"How can you hit? That gator just ate your wife."

"Because if I chip this in you owe me $100." (Notoriously Nice Mike)


More entries, as I have time for them...



"I haven't been taking my sleep aid lately, and my dreams miss me." (Heather Gray)


"This explains why so many of the guys played this course only once." (Becky Mitchell)


1. Chip never was a Gator fan.

2. I'm glad I didn't wear my Clemson hat today.

3. Where's Mr. Ohio now?!

4. I told you let Tiger go first. Gators love tigers.
(Sean Lavelle)


(1) Play it where it lies.

(2) Green 'Gator Golfer

(Emmy Lou Anderson)


I'd say definitely that this is a "Whole in One". (Robert Wade)


"Sooo... You Want The Flag In, Or Out"? (William Altizer)


"That's just great..... now we'll hear from PETA ."

"I think it was the shoes that REALLY ticked him off."

"Bad luck all around..... Bill was left handed!"

"On the positive side... I think we have a case.... the signs only say 'Beware of Snakes'"

"I figure Bill went 250.... We should be able to putt out now...."

"Well, whatdya know....The last thing he said REALLY WAS 'Hey y'all.... watch this!'"

"Does this mean we don't have to pay off?"

"Over the hat...... off the gator....one bounce.......... nothing but cup"

"You take the woods, I'll grab the irons and we'll flip for who calls his wife after 18."

"He's wasn't from 'round here, was he?"

"Hey.... we don't have to take a penalty for 'lost player' do we?"

"Maybe NOW we can finish on time and be home in time for the race."

"Should we follow him to the 'Drop Zone' and wait?"

"Geez..... It IS real.... I thought it was like one of those windmill things...."

"I'll give you yours... if you give me mine...."

"Dibs on Bill's Titleist."

"We'll just tell his wife.... Bill went in the hazard and never came out."

"That's what I call a penalty for slow play."

"You know, he DID look a lot like a frog when he crouched down to read the green."

"This HAS TO BE the number one handicap hole, dontcha think?"

"It was all over so fast..... Tragically, Bill thought he was reaching for a golf shirt in an Izod promo."

( all from Jeff/Beachwalker54)


From Sam Funk: I thought it looked like he’d get a birdie instead…

From Mike Funk: I heard that these sand traps were rough!




"Twenty-five cents for a chip in." (Joan Cunningham)


"Hurry and putt, Jerry, he looks pretty satisfied right now. We'll give old Dan a birdie 3 on the scorecard to help his handicap." (Idamick)


"Mmmm...tastes like a Birdie." (Laine and Lance Carter)


"Remember, I told Ed not to get that alligator bag!" (Linda Hupp)

"So I said to Tiger, 'It doesn't matter how much money you've made, I wouldn't wear those alligator shoes down here in the South.'"

"I told Charley that 'See ya later, alligator' thing was going to bite him sometime."

"I thought when he said, 'they're all good,' that he was talking about our putts."

"Oh sure, he looks good on a golf shirt, but he's got no golf etiquette".

"Next time we play a 'Captain's choice', you gotta leave Captain Hook off the list."

"He said on the driving range that he got rid of a bad 'Hook'
in the last Captain's choice!" (jsmy754)


''I thought tigers could beet alligaters.'' (Hannah Kelly, age 9)


"Tastes like chicken!" (Susan Creel)


"Where did coach Spurrier go?" (Don Williams)


"We can't find Mulligan." (Doc)




"I guess poor Charlie DIDN'T stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night." (mjkidds)


" I can't believe I ate the hole thing." (Gina Dicks)


"I think we're gonna need a ruling on this...poor Charlie was playing MY ball" (Marcia)


"Ummm … Tastes like chicken." (Dave Hubbard)


From the Snail mail:



"Allie, please don't 'punty' on the golf course!" (Themy Chakeris)


"OH NO!! Where did the other golfer go??" (F.C. Huff)




"Finaly found someone that likes smokers." (A.W. Mizell)


"OOPS! Gator-Aid, two strokes and a HEART BYPASS!" (William D. Hughes Jr.)


And some more from the e-mail...

"Under the rules of this golf course that would be a gimmee shot." (Larry Ammann)


"Some people said some fish were missing. I guess the gators changed their minds." (Stephanie Kendall)

"John, new to the sport of golf, quickly learned that you don't yell the phrase, 'I got a birdie' next to an alligator infested lake." (Christopher Fort)

"There is more than one way to get a hole-in-one!" (Jessica Motte)

"Hey Clark, where's Geary?" "Blarghh, he went scamping off that way Bill." (Steve Harris)

Tilda Price's creative writing class, Hanahan High School


1. This is one time I'm glad we didn't play through!! (elizabeth)

2. No need to 2 put here. (chris)

3. Just get it within the leather.... (chris)

4. How appropriate! See the green cap? (elizabeth)



A packet of entries from Beth Anthony's fifth graders at Jennie Moore Elementary School in Mount Pleasant:

"The Mystery of the missing golf balls is friend or foe? (Ryan Moody)

"Hey Joe, go find me a coin slot on that sweet alligator ride." (Matthew Russell)

"It's good to be able to take a break from work." / "Yeah, it sure is!" (Johnnie Green)

"Who's driving now, Jim?" (Zachariah J. Wirszyla)

"That day Larry's buddies learned alligators do NOT make good caddies." (Fiona E.M. Cook)

"The alligator ate the man who was winning, so the others are happy he's gone." (Zack Charland)

"Iraq is having a hard time getting in the right position." (Calynn Dioses)

"Is this the last hole?" / "Yeap." (Jordan Tully)

"I think that's almost as big as the Titanic!" / "Dude, I think it is the Titanic!" (Ingrid Teters)

"Dad, do you think it's safe to golf here?" / "Of course, son, what could go wrong?" (Will Koste)

"Where did the golf cart go?" (Samantha Jones)

"While us Republicans are playing golf, the Democrats have taken over the House!" (Jesse Holmes)

"You know when the going gets rough, you got to give something. I just gave Bob." (Noah Kelly)

"Yes, it's true. That's EXACTLY what George Bush does with his time." (Bobbye Foster)

"Where are the rest of my balls?" / "GULP!" (Amanda Adams)

"The Iraqis can't win because the alligator is on our side, well they could win because he just ate an American!" (Abby Evans)

"Come on, we need to take care of the Iraqis, don't raise our white flag now!" (Vineela Appalanen)

"Hey Jim, have you seen Bob?" / "Yeah, he went down to the lake to get his ball." (Brian Dunleavy)

"This was an excuse to get away from my wife, but I think the Alligator went too far." (Olivia Kacsa)

"Whoever loses this game I get to eat you for dessert." (Love-Quawn)

"What happened to Fred? Muffins taste like cheese. Fred tastes like chicken!" (Sam Walton)

"Well, that's a gator-in-one for me!" (Travon Mitchell)

"Maybe we should play somewhere else." (Deidra)

"Never feed the alligators!" (Marisa Romagnuola)

"Where is Jake," exclaimed Herman. "Hum? He was just eyeing his ball a second ago." (Ashley Garritano)


Final entries:

"OK...new bet...the loser tells Dan's wife." (Jim S.)


"Bet you Fred's new putter you miss this".

"Man, they sure take 'do or die' putts seriously around here".

(Rhett Crafts)


And with that, the contest closes, with 126 proposed captions. Thanks to everyone who played.

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