Friday 5

Follow-up file: Pop-Ramen, Noonan and the Rah-Men

Last week’s edition brought you advice on what to do with your Thanksgiving leftovers (here’s our advice on what to do with those leftovers this week: COMPOST THEM), and it included the chorus to a song about Ramen Noodles that we once heard on an alternative radio station in another state:

Ramen Noodles
Must be made in heaven
For nary a dollar
I can buy me seven

Well, it turns out that both the writer of those lyrics and the musician who recorded them both lived here in the Lowcountry.

Here's the extended story...

Columnist, philosopher and stand-up comedian Tom “Noonan” Werner (Noonan was his stage name) of the Isle of Palms first published An Ode to Ramen Noodles 10 or 12 years ago in his “Rude, Crude, Guy Food” column in Charleston’s Free Time newspaper. He describes the column as something that would be equally at home in both the bathroom and the kitchen.

A local musician named Allen “Alpo” Porche approached Werner about setting the lyrics to a reggae beat. One thing led to another and the track (which also featured Teddy Prause, these days the guitarist for Steve Carroll and the Bograts, and Noonan/Werner giving a "spoken-word" commentary) headlined the self-produced Pop Ramen EP by “Noonan and the Rah-Men.”

Anyway, Prause noticed the chorus in last week’s paper, and — ta da! — mystery solved. We wound up on the phone with Noonan/Werner, trying unravel/remember the history of the Ode to Ramen Noodles lyric, the recording, the musicians, and whatever happened to all that time.

Also mysterious: I remember hearing part of the song on a public radio station in another state, which seemed like news to Tom. The record never had a label and didn't get airplay. He was certainly surprised that I'd heard it in North Carolina -- so surprised, in fact, that ever since then I've been trying to figure out if my memory is playing tricks on me. Thing is, I can't imagine where else I might have heard it.

Back in those days, Tom was working on an idea called "Broke and Brilliant," and you can still find some of it online (another chunk was lost in a computer crash), and the Ramen song fits into that theme nicely.

Today he goes by Tom Werner professionally in his work with a flooring company called Charleston One Source (the Environmentally Friendly Wood Specialists) and even has real business cards that he hands out.  So it looks like he's moving up in the world.

But I feel for the guy. As he put it when he dropped by the audio file for this post:

TOM: "You know that thing about how if your work touches just one person, it was worth it?"

DAN: "Yeah?"

TOM: "I'm not feeling that so much right now."

Because I'd hate that too. I'm not exactly the prize in anyone's box of Cracker Jacks.

Anyway, here's your Ramen Noodles song. Enjoy. And if you like it, tell Tom. He could probably use a few more fans.

Musician jokes in 5 categories

Q. How can you tell when you've got musicians at your party?

A. They're the ones in the corner telling insulting musician jokes...

In honor of our ongoing arts festivals, we’ve organized these musician jokes for use at those after-performance parties you’ll be attending:

DRUMMERS: Q. Did you hear the one about the drummer who tried to commit suicide because he couldn’t keep time? A. He jumped behind a train...

Q. How can you tell when a drum riser is level? A. The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth...

GUITARISTS: Q. What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? A. Homeless...

Q. What’s the difference between a guitar player and a mutual fund? A. Eventually the mutual fund matures and earns money...

Q. How do you silence a guitarist? A. Put a sheet of music in front of him...

TROMBONISTS: Q. How do you get a trombone player off your porch? A. Pay him for the pizza...

Q. What do you call an trombone player with a beeper? A. An optimist.

JAZZ PLAYERS: Q. How do jazz musicians get into heaven? A. Through the kitchen...

Q. How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A. “Don’t worry about the changes. We’ll fake it.” ...

Q. What’s the difference between a jazz musician and a large pizza? A. The pizza can feed a family of four...

OPERA JOKES: Q. How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One. The tenor holds the lightbulb in place and the world revolves around him...

Q. What’s the difference between a soprano and a terrorist? A. You can negotiate with a terrorist...

Q. Why are soprano jokes all one-liners? A. So tenors can understand them...

5 most important Charleston Jazz Musicians

I have the distinct cultural advantage of sitting next to Jack McCray, who is a real wise guy in both senses of the term. Jack has forgotten more about music than I ever learned, and if it happened in Charleston in the past 40 years, he's the guy to ask about it.

But one of Jack's outside involvements would be worth covering whether I knew the guy or not, and I've been looking for an excuse to write about it for a couple of years now. Jack is one of the principles in the Charleston Jazz Initiative, a group of local historians and jazz enthusiasts who've been going around documenting the forgotten story of Charleston's contributions to the origins and development of American jazz.

Check out their site, and buy a T-shirt or something while you're there.

Anyway, the CJI's picks for the Five Most Important Charleston Jazz Musicians (in no particular order) are after the jump, lifted straight out of the musicians section at the CJI website.