One of these things is not like the others...

To enter this week's contest, e-mail your captions to me before 5 p.m. on Monday. I'll post five finalists and then tally the online voting at 10 a.m. on Wednesday.

Comments

[Daniel]

Here's what's come in by 3 p.m.:

"Listen up, mister. You're the only one here who doesn't have their head screwed on straight". Thanks, Kirby Bowen

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"No whistling, either."

"All right. Who's singing 'Put on a Happy Face.'"

"Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed"

Tom Dittrich
Daniel Island

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“Billy never was a ‘yes man.’”

OR

“Never one for instant messenger and computers, Billy sat in silent protest as his law school professor ‘processed’ him.”

Randy Bates

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I don't care what the sign says...tell me where you put my happy pills!

Daniel Boland, M.A.T. Sp. Ed.
James Island

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"Son, I told you not to apply for the role"

Jack Vax
Mt Pleasant

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CARTOON CAPTIONS: Smiley face/Central Processing

#1) If I have told you once I have told you a thousand times, you are out of “sad sick days;” that’s seven-per employee per-year no exceptions.

#1AA) The last guy that came though here and wouldn’t wear his Smiley Face Protective Head Gear ended up in the “Peace Sign” Department, is that really what you want on your head eight hours a day, a hippy symbol representing the 70’s.

#2) When we hired you at Smiley Face Enterprises, it was understood you would wear the uniform to work everyday and that meant whether you were feeling happy or not.

3) Frankly, I don’t care whether you are happy or not, the only thing I care about is that you get your “happy headgear” on and get back to work.

4) It took me seven long years to work my way up to head grouch and not have to wear that fake happiness head gear and, if you think you can waltz in here and take my job after only two-years working the happiness floor at central processing, you got another think coming.

5) When you came through here the first time and went through the processing procedures, I knew you wouldn’t make it with that attitude you had and, now after only three days, you lost your smiley face headgear-it’s coming out of your check buster.

6) I told them idiots at HQ you’d wouldn’t last a week and three days later your back at central processing to file a happiness harassment complaint in the workplace-serves them smiley face pinheads right.

7) There are no “special people” on our assembly lines here at Smiley Face, Inc…No talking in central processing means no talking-“ Mr. I won’t wear my protective shield.”

8) We can process you to a point and after that its up to you to put on a smiley face, no one can do it for you.

9) Refusing to conform may make you hot with the LAIDES in the real world but at SMILELY FACE CENTRAL PROCESSING, the only thing it will get you is transferred to where you have to wear the “upside down smile” head gear and I promise you bud, no one stays long with this company in the frown department.

Frankie Wampler (warped 17-year old sons outlook)

1) It had taken them a decade to perfect the "Happy" shield for workers to wear on the moon to protect everyone from exposure to the "Crabbiness Syndrome" first contracted by astronauts in the 70's but Ned, and Ted his boss refused to get on board and fought constantly during their 13-month expedition.

Good Cartoon, bet there will be some great captions. Tom Wampler

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April 9, 2008

Justin Tyme
2557 Midland Park Rd.
N. Charleston, SC 29406

My answer to caption:

This is the smiley session room. Your session is in room 4A.

Thanks,

Justin

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Let's see your caption this weekend.

[Daniel]

Hi everybody. Sorry for the delay in getting these posted.

"I see someone hasn't had their Prozac today!"

S. Murray

W. Ashley

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"No! That's the Prices Are Rising face!"

S. Murray
W. Ashley

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"It takes more muscles to frown than smile!"

June Griggs

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"Put on a Happy Face and that's an order!"

June Griggs

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"Didn't your Mama ever tell you your face might freeze like that?"

June Griggs

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“This is the Wal-Mart interview, pal. Target is next week!”

Justin Mann
North Charleston

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"Nobody likes a Sourpuss!"

June Griggs

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"Simon says smile. Frankie, you're out!"

Dave Phalon
Summerville

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"I don't like your attitude, mister!"

Dave Phalon
Summerville

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"I don't like your attitude, mister!"

Dave Phalon
Summerville

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"Why can't you be more like your sister and brothers?"

Helen McDonald-Phalon (age 10)
Summerville

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"No, you can't have an unhappy face."

"You won't graduate from M&M school unless you put it on."

"You don't get a happy face till you give me a smile."

Perry Hudel

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"No, Mr. Burton, I don't find my looks 'ironic'. Now put on the mask or you're fired!"

-- Patrick Briggs, Hanahan

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You must be one of those "bitter" unemployed factory workers from Podunk, Pa.

David Hubbard
Mt Pleasant

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1. "What's makes you think you are my son?"

2."Your body lanuage is shouting!"

3."Why do you think everybody else is sucking up?"

--Peggy Brockman

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"You need to get a better head on your shoulders."

or

"Don't worry. Be happy. You could've been surrounded by eggheads."

From Bonnie Morgan, Goose Creek

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1. I’m sorry, but the auditions for “Put on a Sad
Face” are next door.

2. I’m not going to tell you again, buddy! Arms go on your legs & a smile goes on your face.

3. Betty, here, sings a wonderful rendition of “Let a Smile be Your Umbrella.”

4. Forget it, mister. You’re never going to make as a Wal-mart greeter.

-- Bob Tilidetzke, Summerville

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"This is MY HAPPY FACE!!"

--Peggy Brockman

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Didn't I tell everyone to see Forrest Gump before coming here?

Tim Hobby

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1. OK Buster, we are going to get this done one way or another so grab a smiley face and follow me!

2. Is there anyone here who can't post bail??

3. You are going to hate it when you strip down to your shorts and don't have a smiley face on.

Lele Stuntebeck, Mt. Pleasant

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"I told you mister, you're not gettin' your phone call till' you put on a Happy Face. "

marielle bravo
goose creek

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"Shhhh, Mr. Negative...and you're wrong. The
economy's great, global warming is a myth, and the
Dolphins are set to win the Super Bowl!"

Mark Musselman
Summerville

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Dear Dan,

First time for me to try this so here goes:

"Mr. D. Fiant silently challenges the pointless statement and speechless finger of Mr. Stepford."

Howard M. Kurtzman
Charleston

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"And YOU! Wipe that smile on your face!"

Karen Buerkle, Charleston

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Dan,

My caption is: "When I said 'Talk is cheap,' I didn't mean for you to mark it down to everyday low prices!"

Brian Boone, Charleston

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My caption for the 4-11-08 contest is:

"Son, you'll never make "Walmart Employee of the Month" with that mug.

Pam White

Finalists coming up in a few...