Friday 5

5 tips to RULE THE FESTIVALS

This week's Top 5 is my guide to making the most of the Piccolo/Spoleto USA festivals. But there are other tips as well, many of which I gleaned during my successful attempt to set a world record for Most Spoleto/Piccolo Events Attended in a Single Day (13) in 2005.

Piccolo visual arts exhibits are an under-appreciated part of the festival. Visual arts have basically disappeared from Spoleto, leaving the field to the "small" festival, and much of what gets mounted is really a treat. The juried shows at the Visitor's Center and the art village on Marion Square are often a mixed bag, but I've had good luck at The City Gallery at Waterfront Park and in other, out-of-the-way venues like the Footlights lobby on Queen Street.

Piccolo's theater offerings are relatively affordable and -- if you pick the right ones -- can be the arts bargain of the festival. They're not typically first-run premieres, but many of them are New to Us.

Get a base of operations. Yes, you'll want to have some special meals and evenings out, but if you're downtown for the 1 p.m. Chamber Music and planning to catch something later in the afternoon, you'll need a place where you can relax, get some nosh, and rehydrate.

Juanita Greenberg's Nacho Royale  on Upper King Street (get the quesadillas) has a shady deck out back that's one of the city's best-kept secrets, and everything is affordable; Kudu Coffee on Vanderhorst has an outdoor courtyard, superior coffee and interesting stuff in the pastry case (try the house-blend brewed or iced, or a Cuban-style African espresso); Joseph's next to the Gibbes on Meeting Street is a jumpin' joint for lunch and breakfast (fried green tomatoes are a must); and Saffron's on East Bay makes a good place if you're attending something at the Gaillard; East Bay Deli is a favorite, and occasionally has nearby parking, but crossing East Bay on foot is something of an adventure.

G&M Fast and French on Broad Street is a bit out of the way now that the Dock Street is out of commission, but it wouldn't be the festival without a trip to G&M; and Jack's Cafe across from the Sottile on George Street is a locally owned institution that deserves everyone's patronage and support (it's not open on the weekends and closes at 3:30) when you're attending an early event near C of C.

Don't ignore the talks. They're often free, and they're informative and interesting. If a show has any controversy associated with it, the talks can be more fun than some of the performances.

Seriously, ride a bike if you can. I know I talked about this in the Top 5, but the difference between riding to performances and trying to get around via the awkward combination of car, parking garage, and long  walks  is significant.

Bring your own shade to the opening ceremonies: If it's hot -- and it usually is -- even a good seat up front can be unpleasant. There's nothing wrong with a shady umbrella... just so long as you take it down once the ceremonies begin. And remember: Just because you're sitting in the shade at the beginning doesn't mean you'll have shade by the end.

Do the jazz. Just do it. And don't count on being able to set-up on George Street and let the music spill over on you anymore: Apparently the officials are starting to harass the free music seekers...

Buy the obvious stuff early. I'll be shocked if Monkey: Journey to the West; Laurie Anderson's Homeland and the big symphony concerts don't sell out early. So don't wait. Buy.

Latch on to SpoletoToday. We're making a big effort this year to connect festival-goers to social opportunities and meet-ups. Want to meet new people and talk festival stuff? Bookmark SpoletoToday and sign up for live festival reports and comments on your cell phone via Twitter. It's buzz central.

Figure out the finales. The Piccolo Finale is like a big neighborhood block party with food vendors and hours of live music and lots of people coming and going. The Spoleto Finale is a bring-your-own fancy picnic before an evening symphony orchestra concert. Plan accordingly.

The Big Finish: Tips for enjoying the finales

The final days of Charleston’s Spoleto/Piccolo Spoleto festivals arrive in a characteristic over-stimulated haze, as hundreds of performers and visitors drain out of town to fatigued goodbyes. This spirit wraps the Spoleto Finale (Sunday, Middleton Plantation, $35) in an aura of fond nostalgia, while the Piccolo Finale (Saturday, Hampton Park, free) often feels a lot more like a funky summer block party. Here are five tips to enjoying them both:

GO WITH FRIENDS
Enjoying the finales begins with understanding them for what they really are. These are social events with music and fireworks, and they’re best enjoyed in groups.

Piccolo: There’s significantly less pressure here, since the event is free and you can come and go at will, but consider meeting up with your pals. Of the two, the Piccolo finale is the much better option for families with young children.

Spoleto: Make plans to convoy out to Middleton with your buddies. Think of it as throwing a garden party in somebody else’s garden. With an orchestra.

EAT & DRINK
You can pack a picnic to the Hampton Park event, but the place is with food and beverage vendors on the scene, why bother? Middleton, however, is definitely a wicker-basket-and-linen-tablecloth scene.

Piccolo: Burgers, ice cream cones and beers are definitely on the menu, plus you can sneak away to Moe’s Crosstown Tavern (Rutledge at Francis) or Granville’s restaurant (Rutledge at Grove) if you need a break.

Spoleto: Competitive ostentation is the entire point of the finale to the crowd sporting silver chafing dishes, caterers and $100 bottles of wine in the shade of the live oaks. Don’t even bother competing with them. Divide up a simple, creative menu with your friends, and enjoy a memorable meal.

KEEP IT LIGHT
Hampton Park is less of a commitment than a trip to Middleton, but remember this rule: Less is more, particularly when you have to carry it.

Piccolo: Pack cash for consumables and devote your carrying capacities to comfort items: folding chairs, blankets, umbrellas, etc.

Spoleto: Unless you’ve trained as a professional sherpa, the key to Spoleto Finale enjoyment can be expressed in a single word: Roll. Every person in your party will require food, drink, seating, shade and personal items, and the best way to get all that gear from the parking area to the big lawn is on something that rolls. Think beach carts and rolling coolers.

SPF & SSS
This one is directed to those of us bringing out-of-town guests: Lowcountry sunlight will bake you like a red potato — finishing its work just in time for the rising tide of no-see-ums to make an early evening feast of your already prickly flesh.

Sunscreen: Carry some SPF 30 or higher and have it ready when your Ohio friend pulls out a bottle of baby oil and blithely announces that she’s “working on a base tan.”

Bug juice: Some locals swear by Skin-So-Soft; others trust only in DEET. But since you’ll be sitting around a fixed spot, we also recommend you break out the big guns: Citronella candles and ThermaCell repellent heaters.

BEAT THE TRAFFIC
After-event traffic is notoriously chaotic, so plan for a quick getaway.

Piccolo: Park your car facing in the direction of your route of departure. For instance: Park facing north on Rutledge Avenue above the park if you’re heading home to Summerville, or south of The Citadel if you live west of the Ashley.

Spoleto: Since you’ll have to park where you’re told to park, the key is just your car quickly in the dark while toting all you stuff. Our suggestion: Mark your car with a flag, and pick up one of those new lightweight LED lamps that strap to your forehead or clip to the bill of a ballcap.

5 signs you've overdone Spoleto

1. Your spouse informs you that he’s taken out the trash and straightened up the kitchen. You leap to your feet clapping and shouting “BRAVO! BRAVO!”

2. You remove all your family photos and heirloom paintings and replace everything with iconic portraits of Philip Glass. Later on, your husband has to physically restrain you when a dinner guest observes, “Wow! You sure are a big Bruce Springsteen fan!”

3. You’re so distracted by your attempts to decode the symbolism from MedEia that your car drifts across two lanes of traffic, prompting a traffic stop by one of Charleston’s finest. When the officer cites you for reckless driving, you tell the young man that you really don’t care what the critics say about your performances anymore.

4. You’re listening to some Top-40 pop-diva singer on the radio in crosstown traffic and you catching yourself thinking, “Sure, the piece has got a nice beat, but the singer’s no Constance Hauman.”

5. You take your toddlers to McDonalds for dinner and a ball-pit play-date with the other neighborhood moms and kiddies. You find yourself looking around for the wandering server with the tray full of signature cocktails, then totally confuse the teenager working the Playplace shift by complaining that you can’t start your meal until you’ve had the “amuse bouche.”