Friday 5

5 tips to RULE THE FESTIVALS

This week's Top 5 is my guide to making the most of the Piccolo/Spoleto USA festivals. But there are other tips as well, many of which I gleaned during my successful attempt to set a world record for Most Spoleto/Piccolo Events Attended in a Single Day (13) in 2005.

Piccolo visual arts exhibits are an under-appreciated part of the festival. Visual arts have basically disappeared from Spoleto, leaving the field to the "small" festival, and much of what gets mounted is really a treat. The juried shows at the Visitor's Center and the art village on Marion Square are often a mixed bag, but I've had good luck at The City Gallery at Waterfront Park and in other, out-of-the-way venues like the Footlights lobby on Queen Street.

Piccolo's theater offerings are relatively affordable and -- if you pick the right ones -- can be the arts bargain of the festival. They're not typically first-run premieres, but many of them are New to Us.

Get a base of operations. Yes, you'll want to have some special meals and evenings out, but if you're downtown for the 1 p.m. Chamber Music and planning to catch something later in the afternoon, you'll need a place where you can relax, get some nosh, and rehydrate.

Juanita Greenberg's Nacho Royale  on Upper King Street (get the quesadillas) has a shady deck out back that's one of the city's best-kept secrets, and everything is affordable; Kudu Coffee on Vanderhorst has an outdoor courtyard, superior coffee and interesting stuff in the pastry case (try the house-blend brewed or iced, or a Cuban-style African espresso); Joseph's next to the Gibbes on Meeting Street is a jumpin' joint for lunch and breakfast (fried green tomatoes are a must); and Saffron's on East Bay makes a good place if you're attending something at the Gaillard; East Bay Deli is a favorite, and occasionally has nearby parking, but crossing East Bay on foot is something of an adventure.

G&M Fast and French on Broad Street is a bit out of the way now that the Dock Street is out of commission, but it wouldn't be the festival without a trip to G&M; and Jack's Cafe across from the Sottile on George Street is a locally owned institution that deserves everyone's patronage and support (it's not open on the weekends and closes at 3:30) when you're attending an early event near C of C.

Don't ignore the talks. They're often free, and they're informative and interesting. If a show has any controversy associated with it, the talks can be more fun than some of the performances.

Seriously, ride a bike if you can. I know I talked about this in the Top 5, but the difference between riding to performances and trying to get around via the awkward combination of car, parking garage, and long  walks  is significant.

Bring your own shade to the opening ceremonies: If it's hot -- and it usually is -- even a good seat up front can be unpleasant. There's nothing wrong with a shady umbrella... just so long as you take it down once the ceremonies begin. And remember: Just because you're sitting in the shade at the beginning doesn't mean you'll have shade by the end.

Do the jazz. Just do it. And don't count on being able to set-up on George Street and let the music spill over on you anymore: Apparently the officials are starting to harass the free music seekers...

Buy the obvious stuff early. I'll be shocked if Monkey: Journey to the West; Laurie Anderson's Homeland and the big symphony concerts don't sell out early. So don't wait. Buy.

Latch on to SpoletoToday. We're making a big effort this year to connect festival-goers to social opportunities and meet-ups. Want to meet new people and talk festival stuff? Bookmark SpoletoToday and sign up for live festival reports and comments on your cell phone via Twitter. It's buzz central.

Figure out the finales. The Piccolo Finale is like a big neighborhood block party with food vendors and hours of live music and lots of people coming and going. The Spoleto Finale is a bring-your-own fancy picnic before an evening symphony orchestra concert. Plan accordingly.

Follow-up file: Pop-Ramen, Noonan and the Rah-Men

Last week’s edition brought you advice on what to do with your Thanksgiving leftovers (here’s our advice on what to do with those leftovers this week: COMPOST THEM), and it included the chorus to a song about Ramen Noodles that we once heard on an alternative radio station in another state:

Ramen Noodles
Must be made in heaven
For nary a dollar
I can buy me seven

Well, it turns out that both the writer of those lyrics and the musician who recorded them both lived here in the Lowcountry.

Here's the extended story...

Columnist, philosopher and stand-up comedian Tom “Noonan” Werner (Noonan was his stage name) of the Isle of Palms first published An Ode to Ramen Noodles 10 or 12 years ago in his “Rude, Crude, Guy Food” column in Charleston’s Free Time newspaper. He describes the column as something that would be equally at home in both the bathroom and the kitchen.

A local musician named Allen “Alpo” Porche approached Werner about setting the lyrics to a reggae beat. One thing led to another and the track (which also featured Teddy Prause, these days the guitarist for Steve Carroll and the Bograts, and Noonan/Werner giving a "spoken-word" commentary) headlined the self-produced Pop Ramen EP by “Noonan and the Rah-Men.”

Anyway, Prause noticed the chorus in last week’s paper, and — ta da! — mystery solved. We wound up on the phone with Noonan/Werner, trying unravel/remember the history of the Ode to Ramen Noodles lyric, the recording, the musicians, and whatever happened to all that time.

Also mysterious: I remember hearing part of the song on a public radio station in another state, which seemed like news to Tom. The record never had a label and didn't get airplay. He was certainly surprised that I'd heard it in North Carolina -- so surprised, in fact, that ever since then I've been trying to figure out if my memory is playing tricks on me. Thing is, I can't imagine where else I might have heard it.

Back in those days, Tom was working on an idea called "Broke and Brilliant," and you can still find some of it online (another chunk was lost in a computer crash), and the Ramen song fits into that theme nicely.

Today he goes by Tom Werner professionally in his work with a flooring company called Charleston One Source (the Environmentally Friendly Wood Specialists) and even has real business cards that he hands out.  So it looks like he's moving up in the world.

But I feel for the guy. As he put it when he dropped by the audio file for this post:

TOM: "You know that thing about how if your work touches just one person, it was worth it?"

DAN: "Yeah?"

TOM: "I'm not feeling that so much right now."

Because I'd hate that too. I'm not exactly the prize in anyone's box of Cracker Jacks.

Anyway, here's your Ramen Noodles song. Enjoy. And if you like it, tell Tom. He could probably use a few more fans.

Dog days

There’s going to be an awful lot of hotdogs consumed this Fourth of July. But why stick to the basics? Teach your old dog one of these tricks:

Chicago style: Start with a steamed Vienna Beef dog on a steamed poppy seed bun, then top it with tomatoes (diced or wedged), a dill pickle spear, sweet pickle relish and yellow mustard. The final, essential kick? Celery salt. Pickled hot pepper or onions are optional. Ketchup isn’t.

North Carolina style: Chili, cole slaw (regular or — if you’re a barbarian — N.C. “barbecue slaw”), mustard and onions on a steamed bun.

Kansas City style: Two toppings only: sauerkraut, covered with melted Swiss cheese.

Cincinnati-style “coney”: Two things really make a dog a Cincinnati coney — freshly grated cheddar cheese (lots of it) and Cincinnati chili, which has little to do with the spicey Tex-Mex style meat stew most of us grew up with (most recipes include chocolate and sweet spices). Don’t forget the chopped onions.

The Riverdog: Top a dog with a pickled okra spear (it goes alongside the weiner in the bun, not on top of it), creamy coleslaw, and finish it with a long squirt of mustard-based barbecue sauce. It might not be the official “Charleston style” hotdog, but it’s one of the best things about a summertime trip to The Joe.

Don't worry: Be Crabby

Crabbing is a great summer activity for new arrivals, parents with young children or anyone who would enjoy doing something outdoors that doesn’t require complex tackle, a boat — or even knowledge about local waters.

The best part? You can outfit yourself with a fairly complete set of equipment for less than $20.

Where to go
Some spots are better than others, but basically any tidal creek will have crabs in it. Ask around at your neighborhood bait-and-tackles to find out where the locals are catching jimmys and jennys these days, or just go exploring. A popular place for beginners is the Pitt Street Bridge in Mount Pleasant, which provides easy public access to Cove Creek. 

(Photo: That's Scott Fish of Pittsburgh, Pa., and his 11-year-old son Mitchell "pulling and dipping" at Pitt Street Bridge. You can also barely make out his younger son, 9-year-old Justin, too. The Fish family takes the crabs they catch back to the Sea Cabins pier on Isle of Palms and use them to catch bonnethead sharks. Mitchell caught a junior-record bonnethead using blue crabs for bait this week. Dan Conover photo)

The “get” list
Less is definitely more when it comes to crabbing, and few recreational crabbers do it because they like the nifty gear.

Must haves: 1. A dip net (48-inch spread on a plain wooden handle, $7 at Haddrell’s Point Tackle and Supply in Mount Pleasant) for scooping up crabs; 2. A hand line, to which you’ll attach the bait. You can make do with regular twine, or you can chuck out $2 for a 25-foot, pre-weighted crab line with a hook to hold the bait in place; 3. A standard 5-gallon plastic bucket (if you have to buy one expect to pay about $8) with handle.

Nice-to-haves: Collapsing crab traps made of wire or cotton cord ($2 and up). Go-withs: Extend the reach of your collapsing traps with a 50-foot line ($3.29); You can also bring a standard cooler and fill it with ice, which mellows out live crabs quickly.

Bait: The preferred bait is the chicken neck (less than $2 will get you four of them at a fishing store), but crabs will bite just about anything. Check your kitchen for old, freezer-burned chicken wings and drumsticks before you pay good money for bait.

Lowcountry ice cream flavors

It’s ice cream season in Charleston. Who wants a scoop?

Avocado
Paolo’s Gelato Italiano
41 John St.
Paolo Dalla Zorza has been experimenting with unusual gelato flavors here since he opened his Charleston store in 2003. “Last year it was the flowers: Jasmine, that’s the Charleston flower, rose, violet. This year it’s vegetables: carrot, basil, celery, avocado, rosemary-chocolate.”

But don’t walk in and expect to pick from a long list. Every day they offer eight flavors, made fresh, and since the menu is always in flux, 9,000 of Paulo’s regular customers keep up with what’s coming via his e-mail “Flavor Alerts.” This weekend’s vegetable flavor: avocado.

Says Paolo: “I’m selling an experience: Five minutes in Italy.”

TOP SECRET (“Hunka-Hunka Banana Love”?)
Wholly Cow
Concord Street, downtown; 2070 Sam Rittenberg Blvd., West Ashley; 840 Coleman Blvd., Mount Pleasant
The brain trust at the Wholly Cow plant in Ravenel is getting ready to release a new flavor in early June, only they’re not so sure about the name yet. “It’s modeled after Elvis’s favorite sandwich, so it’s banana ice cream with peanut butter cups in it,” said Billy Claxton, plant manager.

So why the naming angst? “It’s maybe a little risque,” said Claxton. “That could still change.”

Can’t wait until June? “Killa Vanilla,” the company’s best-seller, is made with three kinds of pure vanilla (from Madagascar, Tahiti and Indonesia).

Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream
Grocery stores
Not at Ben & Jerry’s ice cream stores
Ryan Drury, the manager at the Ben & Jerry’s on Market Street in Charleston, answers the question before you can ask it: “It’s only in grocery stores. In pints.”

You can hardly blame people for asking, though: the flavor’s Charleston-native TV-star namesake is to self-promotion as Picasso was to paint.

“Every day people will come in and ask if we have it,” Drury said. “I don’t know if that’s because of the flavor or because of the power he has over people. He talks about it on his show a lot.”

For the record, the ice cream is vanilla “with fudge-covered waffle cone pieces and a carmel swirl.” The company calls it “the sweet taste of liberty in your mouth.”

Peppermint
Moo-na Lisa Gourmet Ice Cream & Coffee
162 Seven Farms Drive, Daniel Island
When John and Terri Moran opened their shop in the fall of 2004, they figured their homemade peppermint ice cream would be a seasonal novelty. Wrong.

“After the holidays I stopped making it,” John Moran said. “I didn’t realize so many people loved that flavor. After they complained for a couple of weeks, I brought it back.”

Looking for a seasonal treat this weekend? John is making a special Derby Pie ice cream in honor of Saturday’s Kentucky Derby. It’s chocolate pecan pie (baked by some friends of the Morans), chunked-up and mixed into homemade vanilla. “I have flavors that you don’t find around here very often.”

Riverdog Ripple
Once Upon A Time
Memoryland
Children of a certain age may remember it, but parents of children of a certain age certainly do, since they were the ones who had to clean it up.

The “team-colors” ice cream of the Charleston Riverdogs in the 1990s featured a powerful purple dye, and The Joe was filled with little kids with faces the color of electric blueberries. In addition to tiny mouths and fingers, Riverdog Ripple also had a tendency to color everything that came out of those little ones for about 24 hours.

Tim Savona, the team’s Food & Beverage director, said the ballpark stopped selling the stuff four or five years back, and officials from Ye Olde Fashioned Ice Cream Shoppes, which also used to carry the stuff, said they had no memory of it. So its origins and secrets may already be lost to the eroding tides of time.

On the bright side, in another four or five years some of those purple stains on the carpet might actually start to fade.